Navigating Intimacy While Breastfeeding: Tips for Connection and Comfort

Breastfeeding often brings physical, emotional, and relational changes that can impact intimacy with your partner. Understanding these changes and adopting strategies to maintain connection can help foster a healthy and fulfilling relationship during this phase. Let’s explore some tips for intimacy while breastfeeding. 

Hormonal Shifts

Breastfeeding triggers significant hormonal changes that can influence libido and intimacy. Key hormones include:

• Prolactin : Stimulates milk production but can suppress sexual desire, leaving many breastfeeding parents with lower libido.¹

• Oxytocin : Promotes bonding during breastfeeding but may create emotional shifts that affect intimacy.¹

• Estrogen : Remains low during breastfeeding, leading to vaginal dryness and decreased arousal.²

Recognizing these hormonal changes as temporary can help both partners approach this phase with patience and understanding.

Physical Sensations

Postpartum and breastfeeding can cause physical symptoms like engorgement, nipple sensitivity, or fatigue. These sensations may shift how breasts are perceived or how comfortable a breastfeeding parent feels in intimate situations. Some may also experience discomfort with their postpartum body, which is a normal part of adjusting to parenthood.³ We are here to remind you that every inch and curve of your postpartum body is perfect and beautiful.

Emotional and Mental Load

Breastfeeding parents often carry an increased mental load, juggling feeding schedules, sleep deprivation, and household tasks. This can leave little energy for intimacy, even as the emotional bond with the baby deepens.³ Open communication about these feelings is essential for maintaining connection.

1. Open Communication

• Share Your Feelings : Let your partner know how breastfeeding impacts your body and emotions. Honest conversations can help both of you feel understood.

• Set Boundaries : Clearly communicate what physical touch feels comfortable and what doesn’t. Revisit these conversations as your needs evolve.

• Encourage Mutual Dialogue : Invite your partner to share their perspective and needs as well.

2. Redefine Intimacy

• Embrace Non-Sexual Touch : Cuddling, holding hands, or giving massages can foster closeness without pressure.³

• Focus on Emotional Connection : Share gratitude, talk openly, or engage in activities like cooking or watching a movie together.⁴

• Deprioritize Penetration : Many breastfeeding parents need time before feeling ready for penetrative intimacy. When you’re ready, prioritize comfort and take it slow.

3. Address Physical Changes

• Manage Breast Sensitivity : If breasts are too sensitive, redirect touch to other areas of your body.

• Combat Vaginal Dryness : Use a water-based lubricant and consider incorporating vaginal probiotics to reduce dryness caused by low estrogen.²

• Experiment With Positions : Postpartum healing or breastfeeding-related discomfort may require trying new positions that feel more comfortable.

4. Prioritize Self-Care

• Rest and Replenish : Sleep deprivation affects libido. Prioritize rest when possible to restore energy.⁵

• Celebrate Your Body : Practice self-love by focusing on the incredible work your body is doing. Affirmations, a skincare routine, or wearing clothes that make you feel confident can help.³

• Take Time for Yourself : Alone time can help recharge your emotional and physical reserves.

5. Cultivate Playfulness

• Laugh Together : Humor can lighten the mood and ease tension.

Explore Together : Use this period as an opportunity to explore new forms of intimacy, whether non-sexual or sexual, to build connection.

Plan Date Nights at Home

Getting out might not always be feasible. Instead, create cozy, low-pressure dates at home, like a candlelit dinner or watching a favorite show after the baby is asleep.

Use Breastfeeding as a Bonding Time

Partners can join feeding sessions by providing emotional support, helping with burping, or simply being present. Invite your partner to cuddle you while breastfeeding or to massage your back or feet. These moments can foster connection.

Take Advantage of Support Systems

Lean on friends or family for childcare, even for short periods, to create opportunities for intimacy.

Focus on Intimacy on Your Terms

Redefine intimacy to suit your current needs and energy levels. Small gestures or moments of connection can be just as meaningful as pre-baby dynamics.

If intimacy challenges persist or create strain in your relationship, seeking professional support can help:

• Therapists Specializing in Postpartum or Couples Counseling: They can provide tools to navigate intimacy and relational changes.

• Pelvic Floor Therapists: These professionals can help address physical discomforts related to breastfeeding that may impact intimacy. Sex is never supposed to be painful.

• Support Groups : Connecting with other parents can provide reassurance and practical advice.

Intimacy during breastfeeding may look different from what it once was, but it can remain a fulfilling and meaningful part of your relationship. With open communication, empathy, and creativity, you and your partner can navigate this transition and strengthen your connection. Remember, every couple’s journey is unique, and finding what works for you is the key to fostering joy and closeness during this transformative time.

1. Morof, D., et al. “Hormonal Influences on Sexual Desire During Breastfeeding.” Journal of Obstetric, Gynecologic, & Neonatal Nursing, 2021.

2. American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. “Managing Vaginal Dryness During Breastfeeding.” ACOG Guidelines, 2022.

3. Kendall-Tackett, K. “The Impact of Postpartum Hormones on Libido and Intimacy.” Clinical Lactation, 2020.

4. Gottman, J., et al. “Building Emotional Intimacy Postpartum.” The Gottman Institute, 2019.

5. Academy of Breastfeeding Medicine. “Breastfeeding and Postpartum Intimacy.” ABM Clinical Protocols, 2022.